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The key question remains: what’s your Jewish motherboard, your non-negotiable, your red line, your identity anchor? We were Jewish Jugglers par excellence: Many were “Kosher inside the house — unkosher outside;” the more “religious” ones were “McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish kosher,” meaning you’ll eat vegetarian or non-seafood fish anywhere. On Shabbat — we did the dos but didn’t do the don’ts. When it came to prayer, we learned communal singing, not what it means to commune with God. As for God, He — or She — was MIA. (One rabbi told me that his bar-and-bat mitzvah kids usually believed in God, but their parents didn’t; so by 16, the kids caught up).
Conservative Judaism schooled us in basic Americanism: treating religion as voluntary, pragmatic, almost transactional. These elective traditions were nice, fun, lovely, meaningful; consecrated by history, but obviously not sanctified by God. Words like holiness, sanctity, spirit, soul, even belief, were exotic strangers in our homes, schools, and synagogues. Instead of coming from up high, all our nice, harmless, rarely soul-stretching activities came from that vague non-binding thing Tevye sang about: TRADITION! Sweat dries Blood clots bones heal Only the strongest old women play golf shirt, v-neck, tank top
In the 1986 American Jewish Yearbook, the Conservative rabbi and scholar Abraham Karp described the movement as blending “Orthodoxy’s devotion to tradition with the open-mindedness of Reform” while remaining the “guardian of authentic traditionalism.” Karp feared the movement’s fatal flaw: “Having its historic origins as a protest against both the excesses of Reform and the insularity of Orthodoxy, Conservative Judaism has suffered from the same malady as other protest movements: Strong in negation, imprecise in affirmation.” Karp was half-right. We mocked the mawkishness, not just the mushiness. Conservative Judaism offered more American suburban shtick than genuine Jewish substance.
Most Conservative Jews stopped juggling — the contradictions were too glaring, the headwinds toward full Americanism too strong. Like most second- and third-generation American immigrants, we forged ahead, leaving behind our exotic affiliations and rites. We didn’t yet know the buzzword “otherizing,” we just knew instinctively how to pass as “normal.”
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Demographics don’t lie: the vast majority of Conservative Jews left Conservatism for Reform or joined the growing ranks of the “unaffiliated.” By 2006, 33% of Americans Jews identified as Conservative Jews — by 2017, it was 16 percent. The Reform movement hovered steadily around 30%, with the Conservative inflow obscuring the Reform-born outflow. 70% of non-Orthodox marriages involved non-Jews.
I take no joy in charting this collapse nor judging anyone’s personal choices. I hope an unsentimental historical accounting can challenge us to learn from ideological mistakes already made while suggesting alternative paths.
My path to stricter observance was not from some leap of faith. It was a Sweat dries Blood clots bones heal Only the strongest old women play golf shirt, v-neck, tank top series of baby-steps. In sixth grade, I learned in Mrs. Glatzer’s Torah class that eating unkosher is “an abomination.” I instantly shifted from the occasional guiltless lobster to McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish kosher and never again ate anything the Torah designates unkosher.
When I hit graduate school and realized I could always be working ‘round the clock, I embraced my first Shabbat “don’t.” I stopped working on Saturday, including not reading American history books, even though, technically, you could read anything.
Only when we had kids did our family become fully Shomer Shabbat. Even then my Conservative utilitarianism kicked in. I would tell my unnerved friends: “it’s a great family unifier! We have a 25-hour-break from electronics — and fights about electronics!”
My brothers became Orthodox in their teens. I still don’t use that label: I prefer “traditional” — Orthodoxy feels suffocating.
Philosophically, rather than having an “aha” moment, I gradually had an “uh-oh” moment. I saw that Judaism is like a skyscraper — without an unshakeable foundation, it will collapse; that Judaism is like a marriage — without a core, non-negotiable commitment to keeping it going, it’s unsustainable; and that Judaism is like the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine — without keeping it (mostly) in a deep-freeze, it spoils and cannot be passed on.
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